Picking gifts for someone can be difficult. That can be down to many things, including their age, sex, upbringing, politics, shape, personal circumstances, philosophy of life, fitness, etc, etc (you’ve got the message by now) as well as your budget, age, sex, upbringing... (you've definitely got the message by now).
So, we at Just Paisley have decided to give you our suggestions on 8 Paisley items that will make an unusually personal gift for that unusually special person in your life, including your unusually special self;
Paisley Horse Halter
Horse collars, with attached leads, carry out a similar role to a cat collar, with attached leads – indeed miniature Shetland ponies have been known to wear cat collars (while 6-foot-tall domestic cats have also been known to wear horse halters).
Paisley pink horse halters are so classy and whether you fit them to your horse, your extremely large feline, or your partner when you play the chilling Silence of the Lambs game, they make a unique gift (especially for those without horses, small cats, or partners).
Paisley Cat Collar
You think you know what I am going to do here – right?
Wrong! I would simply say that when your cat gets on its new Paisley pink cat collar, it will instantly think that it owns the room (which it does anyway because it is a cat). Paisley and domesticated animals go so well – just check out some random photos.
If your cat persists in strutting around arrogantly with its Paisley bandana cat collar on, tell it that unless it starts to show some humility, you will be replacing it with a small dog. The fact is that cats don’t even respond to their own name, so there is no chance it will understand a request to tone down the prancing around in its Paisley western cat collar. So, if you want to be sure the cat collar fits, buy yourself a small dog.
On the other hand, with Paisley and wild animals – the jury is still out. As there are no wild animals out there with the capability to put on Paisley without human support, the jury will likely remain out for some time yet (but will still no doubt be claiming for lunch and travel expenses).
Paisley Mandolin/Ukulele Strap
If you want to give someone a subtle hint that you want them to buy you a musical instrument, then tell them you have bought yourself a Paisley mandolin strap, and that all you need is a mandolin to go with it.
If they are your partner and they buy you a piano, dump them! If they are family, disown them! If they are friends, tell them you will be selling the piano and buying a mandolin or two with the proceeds.
Alternatively, if you find the above advice too extreme, attach the mandolin strap to the piano, and after your first public recital, during the customary post-event Q & A session - and even if not asked the question - just explain why there is a mandolin strap attached to your piano. Public shaming is the best form of shaming (in public).
Paisley Hat Liner
A Paisley hat liner makes a great gift for those who don’t own a hat, but only if the giver thinks the recipient would benefit from and suit wearing a hat. Why not just buy a hat, you might ask? It’s a good question, and there are a few possible answers. Maybe the cost isn’t within the giver's budget, or perhaps the giver would prefer that the recipient buys the hat they truly want – avoiding any returns or feigned enthusiasm with “I love this hat, I really do!”
So, why not give someone a nudge on their exciting hat journey and buy them the hat liner they never dreamt of owning?
Paisley bandana trainers
Regular readers will probably have formed the same view as me that you can get everything in Paisley – except possibly fish, milk and oil rigs. And you know that Paisley crosses every boundary – it is available in every country, and it can be worn by everyone regardless of who and what they are. So, having established its universal appeal, it is nice to come back to some little niche Paisley item, where there are not many examples of it to be found, but where there would probably be millions of potential fans of it – if they only knew it existed.
Okay - be prepared! I am talking about the Nike Air Force 1 Bandana Custom Sneakers. Yes, you read that right! Paisley Print Sneakers! Once seen, these Paisley trainers are likely to be one of the first examples of the Paisley Pattern that you need to get into your life.
Paisley Dog Coat Coat (For Whippets)
Don’t be scared by the specificity of our final choice – the Paisley dog jacket for whippets is not just for whippets - it is a Paisley waterproof dog coat for anything that has the exact same features as a whippet - like a whippet copycat!
So, while it is best suited to whippets – and Paisley loving whippets at that – it is up to you to decide if you have any other four-legged friends that match the exacting requirements of the whippet.
You, being you, will no doubt consider diluting the matching requirements – and that is your choice, and right. But, please remember, don’t even consider a Paisley pink whippet coat for your pet elephant - not even your baby pet elephant – as there is absolutely no way a Paisley waterproof coat for whippets is going to fit any elephant (unless there genuinely is an elephant out there with the exact same features as a whippet).
Paisley circle rug
A Paisley circle rug might not be the first thing you thought of when you thought of Paisley (if it was Paisley dungarees, there's not a lot I can say). The circle rug, like a hiking log, has alternative uses. But first and foremost, it serves as a circle rug.
Why would you want a small Paisley circle rug? It’s a good question with an easy answer.
Due to its small size, this cute circle rug can fit in any part of your house you choose. As soon as you place it, that area - and by extension, your entire home - will become more beautiful.
Thanks to its compact size and extreme portability, you can move it around, giving different parts of your home their turn at becoming more beautiful. You might even want to create a Paisley circle rug rota. This will also prevent the Paisley circle rug from getting too comfortable in one place. Complacency - it is a curse of our times.
The small size of the Paisley circle rug allows you to start a Paisley circle rug family, enabling you to increase your home’s beauty at a pace that suits you.
Key Point: If you put down too many Paisley circle rugs, they are likely to clash. Not in the sense that they will fight - they can’t, as they are inanimate objects - but the Paisley pattern in one might not complement its neighbour. It’s best to keep them apart by at least a foot or two, ideally in separate rooms. If you opt for the latter, remember it’s considerate to occasionally let the rugs hang out together. Lack of consideration - it is a curse of our times.
Additional Key Point: The Paisley blue circle rug also makes a great spider catcher. Once a spider enters the rug’s circle, it becomes so entranced it cannot leave. That’s why it is recommended - by Just Paisley - that you shake out your circle rug every morning. (That is not a euphemism)
Paisley umbrella
I am from Paisley, and what they say about Manchester could equally apply to Paisley. I don’t know what it is, but it seems the Glennifer Braes just build up the clouds, and those clouds like to deposit their rain on the town.
So, that means the Paisley Buddie (a person from Paisley) should really be first in the queue for a Paisley umbrella. The thing is, there’s no need for a queuing system as these beautiful umbrellas can be bought online. Regardless of where you (the gifter) or your friend/lover/relative (the giftee) lives - and I am no meteorologist - I assume that rain might occasionally play a minor but irritating part in your/their life. They say that water is crucial to life - does that mean an umbrella should also be crucial?
We like to say that if you can get it, you can get in Paisley. You starting to believe us now?