When you decide to wear a bow tie, you are making a statement to the world.
When you decide to wear a Paisley bow tie, you have decided your statement just got a little louder.
What does wearing a bow tie say about you?
Do you want to be noticed? No, it says you demand to be noticed.
When you look in the mirror as you put on your bow tie, you are telling yourself that you might be the only one seeing that face right now, but everyone you come across will be seeing it soon – maybe milliseconds after they see your bow tie… and believe me, they will see the bow tie first.
You see, no one puts on a bow tie for no reason. Every bow tie wearer knows the result when they put on their bow tie – yes, they will be NOTICED!
Are bow tie wearers attention seekers?
Absolutely! Bow tie wearers are among the most obvious attention seekers. Their bow tie is their guarantee that their wish will be granted. And for them, they know they can take it from there.
And if you are a ‘path’ of any sort, then wearing a bow tie is likely to be a good first step in acquiring victims. Why? Because people will immediately be drawn to you because you are different.
So, here’s some free advice. Bow tie wearers ARE different! As such, you need to treat them differently. With caution, respect, and with attention. They need to know they are the focal point of the assembled group. If they are the guest of honour, and you don’t want them leaving before they deliver their presentation, ensure their ego is continually stroked – or they will be off somewhere they and their bow tie will be better appreciated.
What happens when a bow tie wearer walks into a room?
Here's a rough script for when when a person walks into a room with a bow tie on:
‘Ah… I see the star of our show has arrived. Only our most eminent guest would arrive wearing a bow tie like that. Is it Paisley?’
‘It's not Dr. Oberbheuser, and it's not Paisley. It’s probably an undergrad who has blagged their way into the party to meet Dr. Oberheuser. And that is not a Paisley bow tie – a Paisley Pattern bow tie is much more intricate and detailed than… that thing.’
And they are correct on both scores!
‘Ah… there is Dr. Oberheuser. That man is a superstar in the world of psychohorticology, and yes, that is a Paisley Print bow tie the good doctor is wearing.’
‘It is, indeed, Dr. Oberheuser. But, who is the young fellow? He might not be Dr. Oberheuser, and his bow tie might not be Paisley, but he seems to have something about him.’
Connections have been made. And as conversations in a crowded room can be inanely similar, it is likely the young bow-tied upstart will soon be pestered by numerous people keen to see what he is about, and whether he can back up his obvious confidence.
Do bow tie wearers seek out victims?
‘Do you want to come home with me to see my collection of bow ties?’
Do not do it! If you must see the bow tie collection of ‘your new friend,’ then treat them like you would an invitation from someone you don’t know. The gullible, who think they will be okay because a bow tie wearer must be harmless, will be the proverbial lambs...
That is not to say that all bow tie wearers are psychopathic murderers. They are not. It is probably only about 50%. No, that was an unfunny joke. I don’t have any statistics on the percentage of bow tie wearers who are criminally insane psychotic homicide merchants, and I don’t know anyone who does. But – and just to put your mind at rest – I am sure it will be extremely low.
But, and I have no figures to back this up, I suspect it is likely that a greater percentage of male bow tie wearers indulge in what could loosely be called ‘idiosyncratic behaviour.’
There, I said it! It’s a statement that is unlikely to find its way into any reputable Science Journal – but, I stand by it.
How many bow tie wearers have you seen, who as we say in Scotland ‘don’t have a guid conceit o’ themselves?’ (if confused, look it up!) Not many… and all crave attention from their bow-tie groupies.
So, an alternative conversation in the room might be:
‘Is that Dr. Oberheuser, and is that a Paisley Pattern bow tie he is wearing?’
‘Yes, it is. He looks just the way he should look.’
And he does! The man is a scholar. He has written many books on his subject. He has rewritten the rules in his field. He has even ventured into other fields and is believed to be even putting down a challenge to Einstein. The man is revered! And doesn’t he know it? He loves the accolades, the attention. He loves to be different.
And how does he signal the difference? Yes, he might wear a ponytail – if only he had hair. He might wear a brown corduroy suit, but the esteemed Dr. Oberheuser also wants to be a babe magnet… and a brown corduroy suit just doesn’t cut it. No, it needs to be a bow tie!
Key Point: Dr. Oberheuser could also have tried to incorporate the Steve Jobs look, but a bow tie worn with a black cashmere crewneck and denims does not cut it either. You are visualising it now, and I am right, am I not?
So, Dr. Oberheuser will continue to work the room, soaking up the adulation of his admirers.
Everyone will know who he is – because he is the guy wearing the bow tie (as well as the young guy in the corner who will still be getting admiring glances, much to the displeasure of Dr. Oberheuser, who is not used to having his thunder stolen).
And yes, the following words will be spoken:
‘Maybe he’s Dr. Oberheuser’s son.’
That is just how much of an impact the young fella will have.
And while Dr. Oberheuser and the young fella cruise the room, the questions they will be asked will be different – but equally predictable.
Doctor Oberheuser
How was your flight? Were there any delays? Is your hotel to your liking? What are you working on?
No one will mention his bow tie. But he expects that. His bow tie is his uniform – to be worn only by him. And you don’t ask a man like this about his bow tie. You don’t say ‘Where did you get your bow tie?’ If you did, Dr. Oberheuser would immediately eject you from the room (with his eyes).
Such a question would be unbecoming of the occasion, and unworthy of the minutes Dr. Oberheuser is gifting to his congregation. Only someone with no right to be in that room would ask the question.
Young fella
Meanwhile, in another corner of the room, some alternative conversations will occur:
‘I love your bow tie. Where did you get it?’
That question will be asked repeatedly of the young fella. And he will never tire of answering it.
If he is that psychopathic murderer, with suitable prey selected, he will eventually answer:
‘It’s part of my collection put together visiting Just Paisley at paisleypattern.com. Would you like to accompany me to see the rest of my collection?’ The wise will say no. The gullible, well…
Where can you wear a bow tie?
Bow ties can be worn in the corporate world, academia, sports, justice, or local government – they can be worn anywhere! And wherever they are worn, their effect will be the same.
There is a perceived eccentricity about the bow tie wearer – but with it comes respect.
‘I mean you don’t get to wear a bow tie unless you are special, do you?’
The bow tie wearer is marked out as different. And they will be different! Because you need to be different to wear a bow tie, and everybody knows that – and that’s why very few people wear them. They don’t want to be different.
But the smart know that to get a leg-up, get the game started, and get their foot in the door, sometimes they must be different. Enter the men's bow tie!
Now, maybe you think I am over-emphasising the effect of the bow tie. And maybe you are right – but as I sit here wearing my bow tie (it is called getting into character), I am thinking you are wrong, even though I need to continue to say you are possibly right.
Do I need to wear a bow tie to a black-tie event?
There are some situations where a black tie is expected to be worn. Yes, the ‘black-tie’ occasion.
Yes, the one where everyone dresses like waiters, making organisers come up with a creative solution to what their waiters will wear.
You know the bash, don’t you? The one where the guy who would normally wear a bow tie every day decides to be different by going reverse. Instead of the black bow tie, he wears the white bow tie. Instead of the black tuxedo, he goes white.
He still gets the benefit of the ‘bow-tie effect’ - he simply gets it differently.
So, while everyone else is a standard penguin, he is the albino penguin – the white penguin of the family. He and the young fella sitting at the furthest away table - right next to the door where the caterers come and go from – are once again the two who will catch the eye.
They won’t be able to hear each other because the young fella will also be hearing the speeches from the event going on through the temporary partition behind him, and even though they are 50 yards from each other, they will be able to see each other.
And the white bow-tied aspiring CEO will think ‘I’ll need to remember the face of the young fella at the back – his flair, boldness, and attention to detail are just what we need to get this company going again.’
Then both will spend the rest of the evening facing questions – the aspiring CEO about his vision for the company and the young fella about his bow tie.
What is special about a Paisley bow tie?
A Paisley bow tie takes it to another level – specifically, the top level!
The intricate Paisley Pattern condenses so perfectly into the small space afforded by the bow tie.
This intricacy also allows multiple colours to be merged into all types of Paisley designs. And because of the shape of the bow tie and where it fits on the body, it demands instant attention.
A great Paisley Pattern bow tie will almost suck you in. You will want to get closer and closer to it to inspect its finer details and sumptuous colours. All of which will be embarrassing if you start to get too close to the wearer.
Or maybe that attack on the personal space of the bow tie wearer might elicit some hilarity. And isn’t hilarity a great starting point for developing a relationship?
Key Point: If the Paisley Print bow tie wearer takes off their bow tie and offers to tie it around your neck, then it would be fair to say that ‘that’ relationship is already underway.
Why you should not give a bow tie as a gift
Please do not give a bow tie as a gift unless you know it will be worn. Not everyone has what it takes to wear a bow tie. Do some investigation. Better still, ask the intended recipient ‘Would you wear a bow tie if I bought you it as a gift?’
The answer is likely to be:
‘No’ or
‘Only if it is a Paisley Pattern bow tie.’
If it is ‘no’, then move on. No… not to another partner or friend – to another type of gift. (It would be harsh to cast someone aside simply because they would not wear a bow tie – even though you would like to).
But, if you plan on wearing a bow tie – and you should, regardless of your gender – you would do well to buy it yourself.
So, remember, make it a Paisley bow tie. Paisley bow ties are the Premier League of bow ties, the Super Bowl of bow ties, and the Mona Lisa of bow ties.
Okay, we have made our point!
We will stop there!