The iconic Paisley bucket hat pattern has become one of the world's favorite Paisley items - along with other Paisley gems like the Paisley shirt, Paisley bandana, and the magnetic Paisley dishwasher cover - well, maybe not the last one!
We at Just Paisley love the Paisley bucket hat so much, that in honour of it, we have come up with 13 fantastic uses for it - some practical and some practically outrageous:
1. Rain protector
Like most waterproof hats - but not waterproof sun visors - waterproof bucket hats are perfect for keeping your head dry. Their all-around coverage means that if your hair is conventionally short, your bucket hat will keep it dry. If you wear a ponytail or wear your hair outside your bucket hat, those hairs outside the hat will get wet.
Just Paisley recommends an umbrella if you want to keep all of your hair dry - a Paisley umbrella, of course.
Key Point: If some of your hair is dry and some wet, this imbalance can dramatically affect your look. Part straight, part frizzy can look very odd, if not quirkily sexy in a non-sexy way.
Additional Key Point: Please check the material with which your bucket hat is constructed to ensure full rainworthiness. Nothing is worse than thinking you are protected when you are not – this also applies to other products. You know what I mean!
2. Toy
There are many ways in which the bucket hat can be used as a children’s toy. Here are a few:
Throw the bucket hat on the head of a nominated person. This is best if the nominated person is not a stranger who happens to be passing the garden when the game is about to be played. Children might not be too happy playing this game – it favours adults, as the child's head is generally smaller than the adult's.
So, if you don’t want long-term damage to your relationship with the relevant child, we would probably advise against playing this game. On the other hand, if you are desperate to show off your bucket hat-throwing skills – or are plain mean – then this is the game for you.
Key Point: The children you are playing this game with are likely to get bored or frustrated when you habitually land the bucket hat on their head, particularly if they continually fail to land the hat on your head because you are moving it when they throw.
An up-sided bucket hat makes a great receptacle for throwing things into – it is like Skittles without the Skittles, or archery without the arrows. This game's trick is to extend the distance between the players and the bucket hat. Placing the bucket hat directly underneath you provides no challenge whatsoever.
Of course, if you want children to believe that everything in life is easy, just let them continue to stand over the bucket hat and drop things into it.
Additional Key Point: The selection of the item to be thrown into the bucket hat is important to the success and longevity of the game. If, for example, a marble was selected as the item to be thrown - this could be problematic. It would be fine if the thrower is 100% accurate with their throws - as is likely to be the case if the marble is ‘dropped in’ - but at anything less than 100%, someone crawling along the floor could conceivably have their eye taken out by an errant marble.
I suppose the marble - if glass - could be used as a glass eye in this event, but the overriding feeling here is that a stray marble is likely to create more of a negative consequence than a positive one.
3. Vermin catcher
Most people will remember catching vermin from their childhood. While it was customary to lay cages or traps to catch rats or your neighbour’s escaped gerbils - it is not considered appropriate to use such methods nowadays. So, step up the bucket hat!
Your child - and the child in you - will love to throw your bucket hat to see if you can catch any furry infestations. And if you are short of a few pennies - what better way to make money from your kid than by beating them at ‘catch the furry animal.’ Your child will not be despondent when you win - and you will win because you will cheat - because they will have had fun. And if you are any kind of parent at all, the last thing they will expect is for you to have fleeced them.
4. Bobbing for apples
Popular at Halloween, the waterproof bucket hat, when filled with water, is ideal for placing apples in and getting the family to grab one with their teeth.
Key Point: If apples are unavailable, tomatoes, plums, or if you want a laugh - garlic - can be used as substitutes.
Additional Key Point: This game is unsuitable for people with false teeth. Halloween is a time for scares, but there’s ‘scaring’ and there’s ‘scaring’.
5. Sun Protector
The bucket hat is an exceptional protector from the sun. Better than the visor, which leaves much of the top of the head exposed (what actual use is a visor?), and the baseball cap which leaves the neck exposed, the bucket hat’s coverage is unsurpassed unless you throw a sheet over yourself.
If you want to think of an unusual gift for a newborn, a baby bucket hat might not be the immediate thought for a gift, but it is an absolute necessity for the young mum who wants to take her new baby out in their new pram.
Key Point: The sun's angle should determine whether the bucket hat is used. When the sun is low - as it normally is at sunrise or sunset - the lack of a ‘peak’ on the bucket hat means that the face may receive direct exposure to the sun. In other words, don’t see the bucket hat as foolproof when it comes to sunburn - it is only nearly human!
6. Wind Protector
The third head use for the bucket hat is protecting against the wind. Whether you are hiding your hair because it is a mess, it is beautiful and you want to protect it, or you have little hair, a bucket hat is fantastic for protecting the top of your head, where your hair normally is, from the wind.
Because the bucket hat fits around your head, it is not susceptible to a sudden wind gust blowing it off. This is in contrast to something like a baseball cap, where the slightest gust of wind sees it careering off down the fairway (if you are golfing), down the street (if you are walking down the street), and concerned about your roof (if sitting in your lounge).
7. Draw receptacle
A bucket hat is a perfect receptacle for drawing lots or names out of a … bucket hat. Whether it is selecting teams for a kids’ softball game, or tombola numbers for the church fete - the bucket hat is so much better than any other hat, particularly a visor (again, the question needs to be asked).
8. Makeshift pillow
The bucket hat makes an excellent pillow, if you are out for a walk and need to lie down suddenly.
Key Point: This only applies if you have some other material you can put into the bucket hat to fill it. This material should preferably be soft, like pillow stuffing material.
Additional Key Point: When using the bucket hat for this purpose, it should be placed upright – as if worn on the head - not the other way around.
9. Water-carrying agent
The upturned bucket hat makes an excellent water-carrying agent in the absence of bottles or kettles.
Key Point: We don't recommend using paper bucket hats for this.
10. Paisley bucket hat fashion accessory
A Paisley bucket hat can set off your outfit just by being. If you plan to wear something plain on your body but still want to be noticed, then a Paisley bucket hat fills that void.
This website does not set out to be motivational - it just happens to be! So, say you love your red Paisley bandana. If you never take it off - apart from when you are washing your head (which you should even if you don’t have hair) or when washing your bandana – and both should preferably, but not necessarily, be done at the same time - a red Paisley bucket hat acts as an able deputy. Whisper it - you might want to start wearing the bucket hat in preference to the bandana.
Key Point: Don’t take this as a recommendation, but a black bandana beats a bucket hat at a funeral every day of the week (including Tuesday).
Additional Key Point: A golf bucket hat will be useful if the pro has run out of baskets for your pre-round 50 practice balls. It also makes a great golfing fashion accessory for the fashion-conscious golfer.
11. Alluring agent
Like exquisite lingerie, a women's designer bucket hat hides what is underneath. Some people just find this extremely alluring. I'm told it is the cascading hair when the bucket hat is removed. You can make your own mind up!
12. Flowerpot
What better way to commemorate your wedding and divorce than filling your ex’s bucket hat with compost and their favourite flower? If you have had multiple spouses - that is even better and it will allow you to make some interesting patterns with your bucket hats, in the plural. (In itself, this is not a good reason for getting married and divorced numerous times.)
Key Point - If your spouse did not have a favourite flower, remember that this lack of a tender side is one of the reasons that you divorced them. By planting your favourite flower in the relevant bucket hat, you will be celebrating that you won.
Additional Key Point: Do not boast to anyone about the fact that you have your ex-spouse’s bucket hat in your garden. Doing so could invalidate the terms of the divorce, and your ex could petition for a re-drawing of the financial arrangements of the divorce.
13. Sandwich protector
Fishermen have used the men's bucket hat for well over a century - that is those who have lived for well over a century. The canny fisherman soon realised that the bucket hat should primarily be worn as a hat - but it did not take them long to realise that it could also double up to make a temporary sandwich protector. With the sandwich taken out of the sandwich box and the box snapped shut, the sandwich is at its most vulnerable, to both the vagaries of the weather and to sandwich-eating wild animals.
The solution is never to go fishing alone and to ensure there are at least two bucket hat wearers in the group. If you must fish alone, possibly because you have no friends, then the solution is to invest in an additional bucket hat. Multiple bucket hats allow you the luxury of placing your sandwiches into one upturned bucket hat, with the other bucket hat placed over it right side up. This creates the perfect all-rounder bucket hat sandwich protector.
Key Point: The little holes on either side of the bucket hat (known for some strange reason as ‘eyelets’, even though only someone with an unusual head would be able to see through them) allow air to penetrate the chamber created by the merged bucket hats, therefore allowing the sandwiches to stay fresher longer. This means you won’t be forced to bite if the fish are not biting.
So, there it is! The mercurial bucket hat - it has plenty of uses and is just fantastic in Paisley!