The word ‘coaster’ evokes the image of the freewheeling surfer with not one care in the world – it is just such an appealing word. Stick the word 'Paisley' in front of it and you might have unique drink coasters that the colourfully dressed after-surf partiers might plant down their beer bottles onto. Maybe!
Here at Just Paisley, if we were to describe how we would want others to see us, being called a ‘coaster’ might be a word we would accept.
‘Yeah… when I’m not {FILL IN THE GAP}, I’m a bit of a coaster. I coast this way, then that way. In truth, I’m not exactly sure where I'm coasting next.’
If you have no hair and are a coaster, your head is shaved and tanned (as is the rest of your body).
If you have hair, when you are a coaster, your hair is clean, curly, sun-bleached, and at least down to your shoulders. You are a coaster! You are cool!
If you are one of those other coaster types – cool drinks coasters - yes, one that takes the weight of a drink being placed on you - your coolness is of equal measure! You are just always associated with something fun and relaxing. Let’s just put that to the test with 4 scenarios:
1. Death
You go around to visit the family of the deceased:
‘Sorry about your loss.’
‘Thanks. Would you like a cup of tea?’
You are then brought a cup of tea with a saucer. No coasters are in sight as they are not required.
2. Popping around to a friend’s house (a.m.)
‘Hi, come in. Would you like a coffee?’
‘Sure.’
‘Here’s a mug of my special Bogota Black Bean with Vanilla Chocolate. As you are a special friend, I’ll find one of my best coasters for you.’
‘Brilliant. I love your Paisley mug… and your Paisley coaster.’
‘Thanks. So, have you signed up for that endurance walk across China, yet?
You see – positive vibes all around.
3. Popping around to a friend’s house (p.m.)
‘Hi, come in. Would you like a drink?’
‘No, I have the car.’
‘Leave the car. Have a drink.’
‘Okay. Double Scotch and Soda… oh, and could you bring me one of your modern drink coasters, one of the ones that marks me out as one of your special friends? I don’t want to mark your table.’
‘That’s very thoughtful of you. I will.’
TWO MINUTES LATER
‘Why…that’s a nice crystal glass… but the Paisley coaster is amazing.’
‘Thanks. So, have you signed up for that endurance walk across China, yet?
You see – positive vibes all around.
4. Teen’s first home party without parents present
‘Now remember… I don’t care if you, your friends, or even those you haven’t invited and don’t know, wreck the house. It’s to be expected. Just make sure that when they put their drinks down, they put them down on our cork drinks coasters.’
‘Can we use those nice Paisley coasters?’
Of course, that’s what they are for.’
You see – positive vibes all around.
What is it about Paisley Drinks Coasters?
With their smooth teardrop design, Paisley coasters attract and maintain the eyes’ gaze. We love to look at them – and then touch them. And they serve so many functions:
Protector
When people use a drinks coaster, they see a protector. They see human invention and design at its finest. Amongst the smallest of things, but larger than the average thimble, the drinks coaster may be simple but it provides so much reassurance.
You know that when someone puts their drink down on a coaster on your table, your table will be protected (unless someone falls onto it).
You know that when someone puts their drink on a coaster on your floor, your floor will be protected (unless someone doesn’t see your drink and kicks it over).
Inexpensive small comfort blanket (but not literally)
Coasters are the cheapest insurance on the market - less than auto insurance, life insurance (except when you are 32 and don’t smoke), and building insurance (particularly if you live on a flood plain).
Warrior
When people see a coaster, they see a warrior. Whether it is a vinyl drinks coaster, a ceramic drinks coaster, a cork drinks coaster, or a polyexypropalicithenic drinks coaster – it is sacrificing itself to protect you and your other possessions. It does so knowing it is likely to be stained (wounded) or discarded after one use, even if it is not stained or discoloured in any way.
Style icon
When people see a coaster, they notice you are expressing your style and class. When you present your guests with a drink and a Paisley coaster – okay, they are probably initially concerned with how high you fill their glass. But, their thoughts will immediately be overtaken by them noticing your Paisley coaster. They will have found a new respect for you.
Relationship creator
When you see a coaster, you immediately have something to talk about. And this is where the Paisley coaster reigns supreme. The range of possibilities and insights it provides are innumerable - and that is more than one!
Some examples:
‘Wow. What is that?’
‘It’s a coaster.’
‘What do I do with it?’
‘Leave.’
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‘Wow. I love your patterned coaster.’
‘Yes? Do you know which pattern it is?’
‘Swirly pattern?’
‘Leave.’
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‘Wow. I love your Paisley patterned coaster.’
‘You do? Let’s get better acquainted.’
Tactile pleasure device
Coasters give you the feeling that you want to hold on to them - even stone coasters. When you have never collected coasters, if you see one, you want to take it home with you. The fact that they are so small and unique creates an overwhelming urge to pick them up, and then discreetly place them in your bag or pocket.
The best coasters are still relatively cheap, so I’m sure that if you ask your host, they’ll be happy for you to take your coaster home with you as a memento of the evening. Indeed, they are likely to be flattered.
Alternatively, they will check their CCTV and see you stealing the coaster. The result will be that you will lose a friendship and conceivably end up in jail. It’s your choice!
It is believed that no stats are compiled on coaster theft. This article is therefore likely to stand the test of time because in the future history of the world – and we seem to be doing well in keeping that short, at no time will stats ever be compiled on coaster theft.
Work of art
Coasters are works of art. When we look at them – we know that. When we hold ceramic coasters – we feel it.
How often have you looked at the coaster and the item it is there to protect and thought ‘You know, I would rather have the coaster than the table? Probably, none. But, in the future, I would wager that you probably will.
So, that's it! The Paisley drinks coaster - the perfect coaster, and the perfect Paisley!