Paisley Pattern oven gloves make serving food almost as pleasurable as eating it. But, believe it or not, we here at Just Paisley don't think they are for everyone - not initially anyway!
Don’t own an oven?
Kitchen oven gloves are useless if you don’t have an oven. In this case, there is only one solution - sell your oven gloves on eBay and save up for an oven.
Once obtained, an oven can be life-transformative but is useless without oven gloves. This is normally called a ‘vicious cycle’ by those who say ‘cycle’ and a ‘vicious circle’ by those who say ‘circle’. Those who say ‘vicious cycle circle’ are probably the most correct in this case, although no more than those who say ‘vicious circle cycle’.
Key Point: If you try to sell your oven on eBay to finance the purchase of oven gloves, look for a local buyer who can pick it up. The cost of transporting an oven can be prohibitive, particularly overseas.
Never cook?
It is estimated – by me – that 34% of people never cook. That doesn’t mean that they don’t eat - that would be stupid - because they would die. No, they exist on takeaway food, or if they are co-habiting with a spouse, friend, partner, child, parent, grandparent, grandchild, great-grandparent, great-grandchild, great-grandparent or great-grandchild, or close or distant relative, caring neighbour or third party carer (paid or unpaid), then their meals might be prepared for them.
If so, this gives the non-cooker a great idea of what to get the food preparer as a gift – maybe a cheese grater, or even a pair of Paisley Christmas oven mitts.
Allergy sufferer?
Paisley oven gloves might not be for you if you are allergic to the Paisley Print or to the material from which the Paisley oven gloves are made.
Electricity or gas cut off?
If someone in your household has failed to pay the gas or electric bill, you will likely be disconnected. If so, show some leadership and dismiss that person from the house, unless it is of course their house. Also, seek financial contributions from others in the home to get power restored.
If you are the person responsible for the non-payment of bills, evaluate the contributions other humans and pets are making to the household, and dismiss those who, in your opinion, are not contributing enough. Of course, if that particular person or pet indicates that they are prepared to contribute their fair share, notify them - in writing - that as a token of good faith, they should buy you a pair of Paisley bandana red oven mitts.
Great Alternative Uses For Your Paisley Oven Gloves
Boxing gloves
Boxing gloves, by their very nature, are leathery and darkly coloured. Paisley oven gloves, when worn in the boxing ring, are lighter and because they are lighter, they can be seen more quickly when punches are thrown. That means you should not be wearing them, but your opponent should. So, in the most sporting of traditions, before you beat the living **** (life) out of your opponent, you should buy them a pair of heavy-duty oven gloves for the bout.
Key point: You mustn't wear oven mitts as boxing gloves. If you do, you risk breaking your knuckles, and worst case scenario, you could become the nominated chef in your household.
Dresswear accessory
For those with extremely large hands, Paisley finger oven mitts make a beautiful dress accessory. When worn with a long plain chiffon dress, the busyness of the Paisley pattern acts as a fantastic contrast to the dress.
Baseball pitcher glove
Perfect for that kitchen baseball game, a Paisley oven glove accompanied by a rolling pin, an orange, and 13 people in the kitchen provides the perfect alternative to playing outdoors. Once immersed in the game, participants are unlikely to notice they are not playing an outdoor version of baseball.
Handwarmer for golfer
Sticking with the sporting theme, a pair of Paisley oven mitts (or even one - as wearing two at the same time can make life difficult) can be the perfect handwarmer for the winter golfer (or even the summer golfer when playing in the Arctic).
Key Point: Oven mitt design means that they keep heat out, so if you give them as that perfect golf gift, you should place some insulating material inside them – old newspapers would be my suggestion.
Ear muffs
A couple of oven mitts can make a beautiful pair of ear muffs – particularly for the larger-eared person.
And if you are that rare species with larger hands and ears, nothing should stop you from being bedecked in Paisley oven mitts. I can think of other body parts where oven mitts could be worn, but I’ll leave that to your imagination.